Why You May Be Experiencing Sexual Boredom
Whether single or in a relationship, nothing is more disappointing than a dry spell. If you haven’t been able to get over the hump—pun intended—of sexual boredom, there could be deeper issues at play. If you’re having trouble connecting with your partner, here are a few potential reasons why.
You’re Masking Discomfort—But Why?
In reality, there is no true definition of sexual boredom. You may be bypassing feelings of discomfort by passing them up as boredom—this way; you don’t have to acknowledge the underlying issue.
While boredom isn’t pleasant, it’s undoubtedly easier to accept than the alternative. Perhaps you’ve lost interest in being intimate with your partner or are masking unresolved conflict, power struggles, resentment, or other vulnerabilities.
The first step towards reviving this stagnant energy is to acknowledge the sensations you’ve been fighting back. Are you complacent or unhappy within your relationship? Are you undergoing a seasonal depression or lack of confidence? Whatever the case, jot down your laundry list of worries—it makes them more tangible.
Embrace the Discomfort Before You Overcome It
Sexual boredom is nothing new to professional sex therapists. If you’re thinking about bringing it up with your counselor, try to hone in on the origin of the feeling.
Don’t limit yourself to a vague awareness. Instead, describe the feeling. Is it unsettling, disturbing, or painful? Is it overwhelming or regrettable? If you find yourself wanting to escape this feeling, don’t—at least for now.
Embrace the feeling and attempt to peel back its layers. When you have sexual intercourse with your partner, do you break sexual contact? If so, is it because you become anxious, even if you aren’t always aware that you are?
Some partners will try to compensate for emotional emptiness by retreating into physical sensations. Despite the effort, the attempt is entirely misguided and will likely decrease eroticism and increase dissatisfaction.
Allow yourself to bounce off questions with your therapist. Unburden yourself of thoughts you feel you can’t comfortably share with your partner.
Commit to Growing With Your Partner Physically and Emotionally
When it comes to unpacking this so-called boredom with your partner, allow yourself to be open and vulnerable. Allow yourself to feel what you previously covered up and be honest.
When you choose not to settle, you become more willing to stand up for yourself and your partner. Improving your sexual relationship doesn’t have to make for a devastating conversation—but it will make for an uncomfortable one!
With that in mind, don’t hesitate to suggest couples counseling or to communicate areas of improvement within a no-judgment bubble. Whether you choose to introduce something new to your relationship—perhaps a toy or third party—or have a go at therapy is entirely up to your comfort levels.
Remember, there is no such thing as sexual boredom. Rather, you and your partner might be experiencing problems with your erotic integrity. When bringing up sexual discomfort with your partner, always come from a place of kindness and compassion!
If you think you’re experiencing sexual boredom or simply need a pick-me-up on a dull afternoon, visit Bored a Lot. Our website is rife with other pointless websites and ways to get inspired.